I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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