Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
