I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
