Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
handjob tips. give me some.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
