I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
