I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
