She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
