the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
