called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
