normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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