There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
