Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
