my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
