Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
