i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
