Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
