Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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