somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
bring money and cleavage
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
