Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
