This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
