OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
