maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
