FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
this hospital has no fireball
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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