Whatcha textin bout Willis?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
