HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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