Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
