she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
