No stitches, just platelets and will power
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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