So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
