Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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