it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
