Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
