It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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