The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
