Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
