Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
