Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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