She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
