video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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