Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
