this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
