So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
