He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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