Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
