sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
