I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
