How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
