We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
