forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
