I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
